Sad One

“Baby, this is a sad one.” I mouth from underwater.

Can’t tell if you’re even looking. Can’t even see if you care I’m drowning. Can’t even speak without water pouring in these lungs. I can’t blame you. I can’t make you listen. I wish I never got on that plane—should’ve followed you home and then… Well It’s an open question isn’t it?

Just a few thousand kilometers, and now I’m lost again. Just a few short words, and I’m under mountains of soil that I placed there myself—and, man, I just wish I could breathe it in.

Never felt so helpless. Never been so useless. Never had so many sleepless nights. Never thought I could lose this.

Today I’m a husk of a person, blowing in the wind. The space I give you carries me onward. And I don’t care what fate will befall me. I deserve this, all of it. There is no question.